Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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