Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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