I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
