Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
