There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
