it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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