apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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