No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
