is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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