Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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