I think scott just propositioned me for sex
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
