i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
