It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
