What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
There are leaves in my underwear?
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