I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
