if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
