he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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