i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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