Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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