I showed him my bush... on skype.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
