ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
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