Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
not ubering you a puppy
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
