I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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