left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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