so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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