So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
