I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
be right there i have to get my cape
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
