Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
