Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
