I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
