that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Randomize
