my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
