I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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