I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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