is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
