just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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