i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
