the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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