For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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