Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
