Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
