I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
