Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
