i was born a porn star she said
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
nutella sex= disaster
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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