She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
