Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
