Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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