i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
