I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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