so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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