My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
worst night to have a conscience
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
