My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
